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November 2015



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Nov. 20th, 2015


Lots of joy today

May today be full of joy for all of us.

Nov. 19th, 2015


Good advice

"Once we are willing to confront our emotional suffering, we begin
making choices based on attraction instead of aversion---love instead of fear."

This showed up in my email account just after a very quiet but important realization, a shift in how I see and think about things. It's good advice for me, and I see that it will be soothing and peaceful to focus on what I want and what is just right for me instead of operating from fear and grasping onto what doesn't quite fit.

The big question is this: do I trust the universe to make better decisions for me than I can for myself? When I look at myself recently, I've been operating from stress and fear and grasping for a good while now.

I do think that the universe, operating from a place of love, can make better decisions for me than I can coming from a place of fear.

So I guess the advice I've been getting really is the best: relax, open up, become curious. Allow the best thing for you to come forward for you. Have some trust in the benevolence of the world around you.

Let others be who they are, and let me be who I am, too.

I am sure that this will be a lot more peaceful, soothing and probably, a lot more rewarding rhan what I've been doing so far.


Nov. 17th, 2015


Brief encounter

Sometimes you meet someone very briefly, yet get the sense that they are special...a kind and loving presence.

Nov. 5th, 2015


Hello 52

You feel beautiful, and so do I. Peace.

I woke up and snuggled Michael, who kissed me and whispered happy birthday.

Then I played one of my favorite love songs, "Strawberry Letter 23".

Michael is making me a cup of Dandy Blend, and I have a massage scheduled for 10:00. I'm excited to write today, and read some of my students' works, and make something beautiful. I think I'll also play Flower. Angela created a new user account for me on her loaned PlayStation so I can find all the secret green flowers again and bloom them. It's a good way to start a birthday.

Nov. 4th, 2015


Soft, warm, happy

Loving restorative yoga with Tibetan bowls. I've been going every week to Evelyn and Rick's classes and they are yummy.

Rick plays 15-20 bowls and Evelyn directs the class and does some hands-on Reiki. Mmmm. I love it when she nestles a bowl into a chakra and resonates it. So deeply wonderful!

Tonight's class was very lovely.

I am wandering into my 52nd year feeling incredibly loved by a Universe that sends me all kinds of beautiful people to collaborate with and create amazing, wonderful happenings with.

So many new and long-loved people are coming (back) into my life now, as if arranging themselves for some magical upcoming event.

It's a surprise of wonder for me, I imagine, full of amazing things.

And now to sleep in my blanket fort, surrounded by warmth and softness.

Blessed Be.

Nov. 1st, 2015


Halloween 2015

Calavera tonight...

Oct. 31st, 2015

Mas Fuerte

Meditation, healing and mushrooms

This is a time of little seeds, patiently cultivated, beginning to flower.

My healing work and meditation practices are really beginning to pay off in peace of mind and resilience, as I regroup faster, realign myself better after going off track, and solve problems faster and with less resistance.

It looks like my work with magical community is beginning in seed form again, and divination and gut feeling say it will be wonderful.

All this is symbolized for me by a small mini-mushroom farm I bought this summer at Home Depot.

It's a mushroom spore-impregnated block in a cardboard box created by the folks at www.backtotheroots.com. I waited till late summer to water it and get my Oyster mushroom harvest. It grew one patch of beautiful Oyster mushrooms that were so delicious! I harvested them and cooked and ate them with Michael.

Then I read the box, and it said I could get a second harvest if I was patient, so I decided to try. I turned the block over inside the box, scraped the top to stimulate growth, and watered it every day.

And every day.

And every day.

And when I went to Iowa, Michael watered it almost every day.

And I got back and watered it more.

And nothing happened.

And I thought nothing would ever happen, but I watered it daily anyway.

And Michael said he didn't think anything would ever happen, but he didn't stop me.

And today, it has blossomed...with EIGHTEEN new patches of mushrooms!!

Some patches are very, very tiny---too tiny to see unless you peer VERY closely. They will clearly mature at different rates.

That means up to eighteen different delicious mushroom meals.

Oh yes...the payoff is worthwhile.

This Remarkable Month...Wow!

This month my list of overnight guests, all very much loved and wanted, included eight people, three of whom stayed for over 3 days (or more) each, and one who came twice (yay!).

Part of this exciting mix of friends, old and new, unexpectedly ushered in the rebirth of something I thought was completed. It seems to rising in a very new form. I'm watching it with interest, and gently blowing on the seed of fire that appears to be kindling just at the surface. We'll see. I am open to the Universe's intentions for this rebirth.

This month I also drove to the Death Salon and stayed with Jen and Phil (thank you---that was WONDERFUL) and hosted a workshop by a new friend (very fun). I drove 22 hours to Iowa to take care of my sister-in-law (hit by a car), my brother (shoulder injury), and their two kids for a week, then drove back 25 hours last Sunday and Monday and started working almost immediately to catch up on what I had missed.

Now, I'm preparing for a Halloween gathering dear to the hearts of Trent and Michael---my house will be full of teenagers, squee!

I know that I need rest very soon.

This month I turn 52, and I love it---I love aging. That's a surprise. Unexpectedly, I feel strong and happy, on track with my life's mission, surrounded by love that keeps growing and expanding, and excited at what will flower next (and next, and next). But boy, I also need to step back and prioritize self care again right now, or I won't be around for as long as I'd like. And I'd like to be around, and be mobile, flexible, and extremely healthy for a long time.

So I want to live differently this birthday month, and stay home, close my house to visitors, and gently self-correct. I want to put myself on track and focus on creating a great life that's built on good habits, deep rest, tremendous love, and strong, caring boundaries.

SMIB...Blessed Be.

Oct. 26th, 2015

Big shine

Home home home oh joyful squee!

My heart is full of joy!

I spent the last week with my brother Christopher and sister-in-law Christy and their lovely girls Zalia and Jasmine. It was wonderful and amazing, and I feel as though I am part of their lives again. I even got Zalia addicted to Monument Valley (a wonderful phone app---thank you, Bill!).

I am also deeply grateful to be home with Michael and Trent. It was 25 hours in the car from my brother's home to my home, an unpacked Lily and a living room floor covered with all my stuff.

I feel as though The Sun is about to burst forth in my life and it is so good!

I talked with Abraham for several hours on the drive down and again coming back, and yes, something is beginning, something beautiful that will connect people from many of my magical communities here with people from his magical communities, and it feels large and glorious and awesome.

I don't know how long it will take to come into manifestation and it doesn't matter. It is more important to do it right than to do it fast (and isn't that how I want to do everything? Usually.)

I feel like I want to be a channel for light and beauty and harmony again.

I feel as though I'm entering the between time before a beautiful new phase.

What I want most: to come from a wise and heart-centered place.

I want to bring healing to all my relationships and everything I touch.

I want to do the most beautiful, delicious, and glorious work of which I am capable.

I want to transmute the pain and challenges I've encountered into something wonderful for the world.

Divination is backing me up and telling me that large, beautiful things will soon be opening up for me---I can be part of something(s) wonderful.

It says that restoration, rejuvenation and healing will keep coming to me and to my relationship with my beloved Michael.

It says that further healing will come to other relationships and parts of my life as well. I've already started this with my colleague S., with whom I have had both a loving and very painful relationship.

About the project with Abraham: I am eager to meet some of his peeps, particularly those whom he speaks of with great respect. He has described a few of them to me: older, wiser, kinder, and with inner resources anchored in long experience.

And yes, I love hearing this.

I've told him that I want to grow something new (and old) with him, and I want it to be a high-vibration creation. Yeah, that sounds cheesy, but what I mean is that I want it to have integrity (to be all in alignment with itself, to be win-win, and to be important for the healing of all people and the planet. Just a few small goals, here.)

I long to work with people who are growing and blossoming and finding their way into lives of integrity, who have with deep alignment to their greater purpose, and who live in ways that respect themselves and others. I want to run with the wisdom crowd, baby, and I want to create and learn and grow with them. I want to be the most amazing channel for harmony and awesomeness that it is possible for me to be.

I want to transmute all the pain and sadness and hard lessons I've learned into something glorious, and mix that glory with purity and heart-centeredness, and create pure joy.

Oh yeah, this will be big enough for grief and loss (which is part of life, which is natural, and which brings opportunities for growth) and pain, too. Because human life has pain, and that's OK.

We are meant to love, and to cherish, and also to lose what we cherish, and then to survive this and grow even stronger, with more beautifully resilient hearts, and then to love again even more gloriously, and to let the cycle repeat and repeat, and to allow, allow, allow ourselves to be broken up so the light can get in and we can shine out from within ourselves.

What we create will have room for all this and more.

And it will be stunning.

Happy. Happy.

Oct. 17th, 2015


Live and let live.

Up in the middle of the night, feeling much better about life and much happier in general. Grateful for a kind and positive partner. Grateful for an understanding friend.

Also clear that as an ENFP, my priorities are not everyone's. I'd rather be around kindness than productivity, though both are good. I prize and seek out caring, compassionate communication more than most, and that's just my style. Other people can be different, and that doesn't have to be an emergency. I just shouldn't try to work with them, understanding that our differences will lead to unhappiness.

It's not personal. It's just the way we each roll that doesn't combine well together.

EDIT: One of my limitations (or blessings---depends on your lens) is that I can't collaborate [easily] without trust and kindness. Committing to large projects with people I don't trust and/or can't establish good communication with personally will not work well for me and should be restricted to shortish periods of strong necessity.

I can't be happy being close to anyone who isn't both honest and kind (yes, they can coexist) and since I care a lot about personal happiness, I shouldn't hesitate to even try. This restricts the pool of people I can be close to, and that's OK. I also need to keep expanding my own abilities to be honest and kind, because it's hard for me to meet my own standards when I'm filled with intense emotion---but that's when it's needed most!

In the long run, it's bette to keep all these things in my awareness as I seek to forge strong and happy relationships.

And it's important to remember that most people aren't just like me, and that is a fine thing. I wouldn't want to live in a world in which we're all the same.

Live and let live.

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