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August 2016

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Aug. 23rd, 2016

sweet

Open, expansive, happy...

Beautiful morning. Woke up feeling happy and expansive, as if everything is going to shift and morph into even more interesting forms. So many new opportunities have opened over the last few weeks, and I love not knowing exactly what the next few days will bring.

Even work seems to be moving again, as I start to get traction on the trust project. Last night was spent alone, and I could have been a little down about it, but the opportunity to refresh, listen to music and prepare for my week was a good thing.

Hmmm, I wonder what today will look like?

Gorgeous possibilities...

Aug. 15th, 2016

Beltaine Photo

Keith

Keith would have loved this gathering so much! Using his bell in circle was very powerful for me. And how perfect that we came together one year after his death.

All the way home Gwen played me Delta Rae. I listened to Dance in the Graveyard three times. Love you forever, beautiful, amazing man.
sweet

Delicious moment

Woke up feeling happy and content. What a great gathering! I met many wonderful new people and got to know others a little deeper. As I hugged one person goodbye, I told him how much I appreciated the great job he did while we were all there. He smiled and took in my praise, returning his own: "And you are fucking *fierce*!"

This brought me such joy! I've been called many things, but rarely fierce. I know what he meant, and why he said it: I got unexpected opportunities to express my passion and my drive to build beautiful community, and I got to share some of the things I care about most.

It felt incredibly good to be seen and affirmed. Squee!

It's lovely when people can see you for who you are.

Aug. 14th, 2016

Flowering Sabrina

Back from the beauty way of my peeps

I came back from a really beautiful weekend in the woods with family of my heart who know me and love me. I love them too, and this year, it really struck me that we've been a community of friends now for multiple decades.

Gwen came with me, and she enjoyed herself so much---I loved seeing her integrate seamlessly into this garden of beautiful people.

Mmmm.

I felt like looking through my blog when I got home and stumbled on an especially beautiful piece of writing that I posted here years back, after Cat read it at Fires of Venus once. I feel the desire to repost it here, so I will. It's been such a long time since I've heard it, and I remember how much it struck me when first it was spoken in my presence:

"When love beckons to you follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth......

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, it directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: to melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love, and to bleed willingly and joyfully."

— Khalil Gibran (The Prophet)

So mote it be.

Jul. 13th, 2016

Archaeologist

(no subject)

Tonight Stormy and I are just being. It is good.

Jun. 24th, 2016

sweet

Happy in small changes

"Today, look upon your life, your bank account, your family, each person you meet, as a wild horse. If a problem looks difficult, relax. If it looks impossible, relax even more. Then begin encouraging small changes, putting just enough pressure on yourself to move one turtle step forward. Then rest, savor, celebrate. Then step again. You’ll find that slow is fast, gentle is powerful, and stillness moves mountains."

Martha Beck

Yay!

Grateful for small, positive changes today.

Jun. 19th, 2016

sweet

Blessed

I am feeling so incredibly loved, and so full of love, right now.

My honey makes me feel
deeply fortunate, really wanted and admired and cared for, and my child loves me and respects me. <3

I'm with my father today, and he is a loving and tender good man, perhaps the kindest man I've ever known. And he is still alive and is showering me with his love.

My friends and beloveds add so much to this picture, too, opening their hearts and reaching out to me in their joy, their sorrow, and many of their new discoveries.

My problems seem tiny today, and my blessings seem great.

My love is accepted whole heartedly and my beloveds delight in me as much as I do on them.

Truly, I am among the blessed.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Jun. 15th, 2016

sweet

Good vibes

"Criticism is an alluring substitute for creation, because tearing things down, unlike building them up, really is as easy as falling off a stump. It's blissfully simple to strike a savvy, sophisticated pose by attacking someone else's creations, but the old adage is right: Any fool can burn down a barn. Building one is something else again."

Martha Beck

This passage speaks to me, encouraging me to bypass criticism and walk towards creation. Sometimes it's necessary to recognize when things aren't working and do something different. In those cases, articulating what has to change is reasonable.

But to complain without taking action just perpetuates the problem, and it brings others into a more depressed and negative state of mind.

I strongly prefer to minimize complaints and maximize corrective strategies, focusing on trying new approaches until I find one that works well.

It's good to be in relationships with people who feel the same way. More solutions, more joy, more good vibes.

Jun. 14th, 2016

Flowering Sabrina

This one is also very good

"The way that other people judge me is none of my business."

Martha Beck

So what if you or others think I'm an ass? Big deal.

So what if I think you're an ass? Get on with your life.

What we think of each other is no cause for agita.

Live this precious human life as fully as possible, and enjoy whatever it is that you choose. Get out there and have fun!
Beltaine Photo

Note from the Universe

"Where there is pain, there will be strength.

Where there is sadness, there will be wisdom.

Where there is fear, there will be renewal.

We learn from you.

The Universe"

Today's TUT email left me the message above.

My thoughts: this is a very good thing, because I am/will be very strong, wise and much renewed when my life is over.

*laughing*

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