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October 2016



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Jun. 15th, 2016


Good vibes

"Criticism is an alluring substitute for creation, because tearing things down, unlike building them up, really is as easy as falling off a stump. It's blissfully simple to strike a savvy, sophisticated pose by attacking someone else's creations, but the old adage is right: Any fool can burn down a barn. Building one is something else again."

Martha Beck

This passage speaks to me, encouraging me to bypass criticism and walk towards creation. Sometimes it's necessary to recognize when things aren't working and do something different. In those cases, articulating what has to change is reasonable.

But to complain without taking action just perpetuates the problem, and it brings others into a more depressed and negative state of mind.

I strongly prefer to minimize complaints and maximize corrective strategies, focusing on trying new approaches until I find one that works well.

It's good to be in relationships with people who feel the same way. More solutions, more joy, more good vibes.

Jun. 14th, 2016

Flowering Sabrina

This one is also very good

"The way that other people judge me is none of my business."

Martha Beck

So what if you or others think I'm an ass? Big deal.

So what if I think you're an ass? Get on with your life.

What we think of each other is no cause for agita.

Live this precious human life as fully as possible, and enjoy whatever it is that you choose. Get out there and have fun!
Beltaine Photo

Note from the Universe

"Where there is pain, there will be strength.

Where there is sadness, there will be wisdom.

Where there is fear, there will be renewal.

We learn from you.

The Universe"

Today's TUT email left me the message above.

My thoughts: this is a very good thing, because I am/will be very strong, wise and much renewed when my life is over.


Jun. 13th, 2016


Great article


"14 Things Ridiculously Successful People Do Every Day"

This is a great article. I want to work on incorporating these habits right now:

1. Say no to almost everything (I already know that unless something is a "Hell, yes!" it's a no).

2. Focus on only one thing in the morning.

3. Delegate almost everything.

I think these habits will give me the greatest benefits for all my efforts.

Good advice!

Jun. 6th, 2016


Stormy Kitten

Flowering Sabrina

Great bounty

I am becoming acutely aware that it is pretty unusual in the circles I travel to have had a happy childhood home.

I think this is because healers (and potential healers) have hard childhoods that contribute greatly to the good work they are able to do in the world. Martha Beck says that Wayfinders (her word for healers, shamans, priests and spirit workers) sign up for especially painful youths so they can experience first hand what they themselves have come here to heal.

I believe her.

In hosting Benjamin, I'm finding that our family's style, with its joy, silliness, open and loving communication and gentle support of each other, is pretty new to him. And so it is with many of our friends, who may have had parents who loved them very much, but who either didn't know how to express that love or didn't have the skills to provide tender, nurturing support to their children themselves.

It's causing me to look at my family with particularly grateful eyes.

My own childhood wasn't much fun, but I got enough love to get me started in figuring out how to build a very sweet and tender family of my own. That's something to be incredibly grateful about. Building the 10 of Pentacles [http://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-pentacles/ten-of-pentacles/] and the 10 of Cups [http://www.biddytarot.com/tarot-card-meanings/minor-arcana/suit-of-cups/ten-of-cups/] is what we are doing here together.

Every time a new friend or acquaintance wanders through our lives and allows me to see this beautiful reality with my own eyes, I am delighted anew.

And every time I think, "The more I look elsewhere for something else, the more I am directed back to the bounty I have right here. Here, in this house, is more love than I can even imagine. Here, inside of my heart, is everything I need to give and receive of this great bounty. I am one lucky human being.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Blessed Be.

Stormy Cat

Yesterday I went for a walk in the rain to get some air. Our friend Benjamin was with me, and we wandered through our greater neighborhood looking at the beautiful old sycamore trees and large houses.

At the dead end on my street, we noticed some acute meows. When we went looking, we found a storm drain on the curb with a manhole cover above it, and the meows were coming from deep inside. I started talking to the kitty trapped at the bottom and the cries got even louder and more desperate.

The rain was lightening up and had almost stopped, but there was a severe storm warning for the afternoon, so we had to get the kitty out. Gwen arrived on her skateboard, and the three of us set about attempting to pry up the manhole cover. We discovered that crow bars alone don't work. You have to get a screwdriver under the hole, pry it up far enough to get rebar under it, and then you can get a crowbar underneath the manhole cover and pull it aside.

Looking inside at the five foot drop, we saw large insects that were a cross between a spider and a cricket wandering along the walls. Fortunately, there were only a few. The kitten was hiding in one of two half-round tunnels channeling water out of the space.

Our neighbor Frank, who feeds many feral cats, came out and contributed a ladder since the drain was on his property. Gwen was the first to climb down the drop, but the kitty was so scared she kept ducking back inside one of the two low sewer tunnels and Gwen could not pull her out. We even tried draping a sheet down into the sewer and weighting it with the manhole cover so she could climb up, but she wouldn't do it. We tried tempting her by dribbling tuna on the sheet and mounding it at the top, but no dice. She wouldn't come out in the open.

Eventually, we went away for a while and she came out of the tunnels to eat dropped bits of tuna.

When we returned, she was out in the open away from the tunnels. Frank had the brilliant idea of using sections of wood sheets to block off the tunnels so she couldn't dart back in, and we lowered the sheets he contributed and put them in place. She was then trapped in the hole and stayed feeling secure by hiding under the draped sheet. I climbed down the ladder, the guys pulled it up, and I was able to lean over and get her. Benjamin suggested that I grab her by the scruff of the neck, which worked beautifully.

She didn't run away after we pulled her out of the storm drain. She just stood there looking wet and miserable. We could see that she was a pretty young kitten, just 7 or 8 weeks old. I picked her up, wrapped her in a towel, and brought her home. She felt so tiny and she trembled for a long time. I held her for quite awhile.

Eventually, she stopped trembling, poked out her nose and started exploring our house. When she felt better, Gwen and I gave her a bath. She did not like this, but we managed it.

So now, we have a lovely little cat in our house. She doesn't act like a feral cat. She likes to be snuggled and petted, and she curls up near or between our feet to sleep. She smells delicious, and has huge amounts of fluffy black and white fur.

Michael is allergic to cats, but so far, he is not having trouble. He also seems to be making friends with her.

We don't actually know if she is a girl, and we are naming her Stormy.

May. 25th, 2016


You can't lose love

Posting a lot tonight.

Just talked with sister-in-law about my father's health, and about visiting my mom and dad.

Every moment I think about this, I notice the clear and unshakable conviction that I cannot lose him.

I notice that all my inner urges and inklings tell me that I---that we---simply cannot lose love.

So I'm thinking about the incredible anguish I felt when I thought he was dying, and the sharp, agonizing, physically heart-cleaving pain I've felt when I've lost others whom I love: and all that pain was real, in the sense that I surely felt it. So much that I could barely breathe, barely function. Yet the thing I was so desperate about was not real, in the sense of a deeper, more profound reality.

Once love has happened, it can never unhappen. Once a deep connection has been forged, it will always exist in some form at some level of reality.

Perhaps in this human form at this particular moment I can be separated from the physical bodies of the people I love, but my body-mind-spirit knows, and I mean really, unshakable KNOWS, that this is an illusion. Even our current separation is an illusion. Our deeper selves are still connected and always will be.

I can't lose my dad.

He will die, of course. That is the way of things. And I will never lose him, or even be permanently separated from him.

So right now, I will relax. I will send him love, as I so often do. I will send all my beloveds love. And it is good.
Flowering Sabrina

Synchronicity as a way of life

I'm reading Robert Moss's book, "Sidewalk Oracles: Playing with Signs, Symbols and Synchronicity in Everyday Life".

I knew I was going to read it as soon as I heard its name, because I do so much dancing with synchronicity in my everyday life. Today, for example, I stepped onto Newark's light rail system after work and found myself musing that the city must post transit officers to check passengers for their self-validated tickets at random intervals---how else could they encourage people to actually buy and validate their tickets on this unmonitored transit system? On Newark's like rail, you follow the directions of posted signs to buy your tickets at machines and validate each one before using it, but no one actually ever checks your ticket. You just get on the subway with it and get off at your usual destination. Almost all of the time, no one ever checks or even notices whether you've bought a ticket that day and validated it at the appropriate machine or not.

But when we arrived at Newark Penn station today, I got off to find three transit officers blocking our way, checking everyone for a validated ticket, and issuing the equivalent of parking tickets to those humans who could not produce one. I flashed mine twice, and wondered at the tiny impulse that brought these officers to mind as soon as I stepped on the train.

This sort of thing happens to me all the time. I think about something just before it happens, or just before a connected phenomenon unfolds, or some connected thread appears.

Reading about synchronicity in Moss's book, I am especially interested as he talks about kairomancy, or falling into tune with the Universe's subtle ways of communicating through everyday signs. What catches my eye today is this paragraph:

"To become a kairomancer, you need to learn to trust your feelings as you walk the roads of this world, to develop your personal science of shivers, to recognize in your gut and your skin and in free-floating impressions that you know far more than you hold on the surface of consciousness. You need to take care of your poetic health, reading what rhymes in a day or a season. You want to expect the unexpected, to make friends with surprises, and never miss that special moment. The kairomancer understands that the time is always Now, except when the time is Go."

Yes. That's the path I'm walking, and it is becoming much clearer.

No, that's the wrong way to convey it. It's not that the path is becoming clearer before me. What's becoming clearer is how to relax and walk the path harmoniously, in a more relaxed way, and without so much doubt and fear, discerning my way forward from signs and feelings and shivers and allowing these minimal impulses to guide me as I turn left, or right, or stand still.

And what is becoming much easier is to have trust in those signs, and in whatever my bodymindspirit is telling me to do right Now.

May. 23rd, 2016


Good Morning

Woke up feeling fantastically rested. I think that's the best sleep I've had in ages! Lots of dreams I remember...found a Fitbit that dropped off someone's wrist and tried to find her and return it.

Still feel great about yesterday and good in general. I'm thinking of waiting till 9:00 to head out, so I can avoid Baltimore's Monday morning traffic.

So many good things to do, and so much to play with!

I'll head straight to work and focus on things that excite me there. Feeling good, feeling happy, feeling fresh and full of possibility!

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